Gay for gay

An Introduction

My client sat in the chair looking down at the floor, glancing up briefly to make eye contact, then darting his eyes back to the carpet. He spoke quietly, as if almost afraid to be heard. He clutched his hands throughout the session, displaying all the markers of an anxious man in the throes of shame. He was a modern client to my practice: a married, middle-aged, suburban dad with a high-powered career. A colleague had given him my number months before. It took him a long time to muster the courage to call and make an appointment. Towards the end of our first session he looked up at me and said, “I think I’m in love…with another man. I’m scared and I don’t understand what to do.”

I have worked with hundreds of gay men in heterosexual marriages struggling with being in the closet or wanting to emerge from it. There is so much about these men that is misunderstood and very few studies or little literature to provide insight. I decided to share my thoughts and research about these men and their struggles at a conference a few years ago. That presentation led to other oppor

Glossary of Terms: LGBTQ

Definitions were drafted in collaboration with other U.S.-based LGBTQ community organizations and leaders. See acknowledgements section.

Additional terms and definitions about gender identity and gender expression, transgender people, and nonbinary people are present in the Transgender Glossary. 

Are we missing a term or is a definition outdated? Email press@

*NOTE:  Ask people what terms they use to describe their sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression before assigning them a label. Outside of acronyms, these terms should only be capitalized when used at the inception of a sentence.
 

LGBTQ
Acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. The Q generally stands for queer when LGBTQ organizations, leaders, and media operate the acronym. In settings offering support for youth, it can also stand for questioning. LGBT and LGBTQ+ are also used, with the + added in recognition of all non-straight, non-cisgender identities. (See Transgender Glossary ) Both are acceptable, as are other versions of thi

What Does "Gay" Mean?

There is not one right answer

Many educators are unsure how to respond when a student asks you what does gay denote . It is better to experiment to answer than to respond with silence or evade the question.

Practice different responses with colleagues, just as you practice other things that you want to learn. Figure out what you feel comfortable saying.

Responses will vary by age and developmental stage of the student. Your comfort in answering these questions will set a welcoming tone in your class and school community.

Keep it simple

An answer can be as simple as: “‘Gay’ means two people of the alike gender who love each other – two women or two men.” Try to answer the question honestly without overloading a student with information. Throughout elementary school a student’s ability to understand what “gay” means and what your explanation means may increase with development.

Focus on cherish and relationships

A discussion with elementary-age students about the meanings of “gay” or “lesbian” is a discussion about love and relationships. You can

Volunteer With Us!

Gay For Good mobilizes lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ+) and ally volunteers to promote diversity, foster inclusion and strengthen ties to the broader community. Now in 21+ Cities!

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To Achieve Our Mission We:

  • Identify and connect with nonprofits that help the environment, animal welfare, and people in need in each city chapter (including organizations not traditionally associated with the LGBTQ+ community)

  • Support select organizations through volunteer service (time), and help to amplify their missions through our vast network of LGBTQ+ volunteers.

  • Coordinate social events for Gay For Good&#;s LGBTQ+ volunteers, and our allies, to develop friendships and network

  • Foster and promote a spirit of positive, enthusiastic camaraderie both within the LGBTQ+ community and towards our neighbors and nonprofit partner organizations

  • Do something valuable for our community, city and country

  • Above all, make a positive difference and have fun!

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