I think my boyfriend is bisexual
I think my boyfriend is bisexual, but he says he isn't. How can I find out?
I recently learned that my boyfriend of five years previously received oral sex from a male twice. I've also caught him watching gay porn on multiple occasions.
These instances lead me to believe he's bisexual. But whenever I ask him about his sexuality, he always claims not to be bisexual.
I'm wondering if, despite his insistence, he really is bisexual, or maybe he's gay. How can I discover out?
- Georgia
Dear Georgia,
It's normal to want to label people as a way to make sense of how they fit into the world, but that doesn't mean it's always necessary or productive.
The way I see it, your situation is one of those cases.
You see, sexuality is a complicated concept. Our society has become more tolerant of people who aren't straight, but there's still much confusion, and unfair stereotyping, about people who don't want to define their sexuality or are still questioning it.
As New York City-based therapist Rachel Wright previously told me, the types of erotica and physical acts a per
Sexplain It: How Do I Verb My Boyfriend I Think He's Bi?
I'm Zachary Zane, a sex columnist and author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto. Over the years, I've had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I've learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and many other places, TBH). I'm here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn't just "communicate with your partner" because you verb that already. Ask me anything—literally, anything—and I will gladly Sexplain It.
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Dear Sexplain It,
I’m currently with a man I’ve known for many years. He is extremely sexually experienced, and has shared some of his fantasies and experiences with men with me. While discussing this, he explained that he likes to bottom for men and would only top if they’re quite feminine physically (i.e., no chest hair, etc). He was very adamant he does not yearn affection or anyt "How can I leading support my bi boyfriend?" This is by far the top question I receive, and I absolutely love answering it. (Interestingly enough, I&#;ve only received this question from straight women and not from gay men. Not exactly sure what that means) If you&#;re asking this question, I feel like you&#;re already on the path to being a fabulous partner, and he is damn lucky to have you. One of the most adj things about being a excellent partner, regardless of sexual orientation or gender, is supporting, embracing, and caring for the needs of your partner. It sounds like you&#;re already doing that. But that&#;s not why you asked the question. You want some more concrete advice from me, right? So here you go. I&#;m flattered that you asked me. Truly, I am. But I can only give you somewhat generic advice, even with all the additional details you told me about your relationship. The best thing you can undertake is to go straight to the horse&#;s mouth. Ask him. Odds are, he has a sense of what you can do to best support his sp Unread postby Sam W » Hi dark_sunshine,
How Can I Best Support My Bi Boyfriend?
Re: I think my boyfriend is bisexual
Can I inquire how you know he's functional towards telling you he's bi? For instance, has he talked about questioning his orientation or seemed to ask a lot of questions about your views on things like bisexuality?
When you say you undergo like a "second," it sounds like part of what's going on is that you're assuming he really wants to be with a boy, but feels like being with a lady is safer and so he's dating you. That's actually usual feeling people have around bisexuality; the assumption that there's one gender a bi person would prefer to be with, and that if they're not with a person of that gender they're just biding their hour until they can jump ship. But that's not how bisexuality works. If your partner is with you, it makes sense to trust that you're who he wants to be with, not that he's secretly wishing he was with someone else (and if you feel fancy that isn't something you can trust, then that's a signal there may be a deeper issue in the relationship).
With that discomfort imagining h